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Poor neglected little blog, and an unexpected parenting rant

Posted by Amelia on Feb 18, 2010 in Parenting, Self-Indulgent Fodder, The Boy, The World Outside

I have not been a good blogger in the last few months.  I have gotten fairly overwhelmed with things in analog life and, unfortunately, have let my digital life slide to the wayside.  I have two blogs that have just been languishing in the dark. Poor things. I really need to make a more concentrated effort on blogging.  Maybe I will take this new time I have set aside in my schedule to do that.

The midwifery education trudges on. I won’t bore you with details here, but if you want to, you can keep track of that portion of my life over at Birthing Journey.

I generally hate personal rants and diatribes on blogs. I tend to gloss over. And if you want to gloss over this one, you are totally allowed to, of course. But I gotta put it out into the world cause it is driving me absolutely batty as of late.

See, the thing is… Parenting is really hard. And I get that. I really do. I’ve been doing it for nigh on 13 years myself. I get it. It’s the hardest job we will ever, ever be given.

That doesn’t however excuse you from being a responsible member of society and, more importantly, teaching your children how to be responsible members of their society!

Case in point– We’ve been planning on The Boy taking a school trip to Mexico for about six months now. Within the last month, there has been torrential rain and mudslides in the area that they would have been spending the majority of their time. The village has been evacuated and when the residents begin to return, they will be filling the majority of the accommodations available because their homes have been destroyed.  This left us with the option of sending the kids to Mexico, but having them remain in Mexico City with no definite itinerary or plan, or canceling the trip all together and receive airline vouchers for the kids’ tickets.  To me, this was an incredibly logical choice. These are 11, 12, and 13 year old children, ten of them to be exact, with three parent chaperons and one teacher. In one of the largest cities in the world. With one of the highest crime rates (one police officer was killed and one was injured PER WEEK in 1997!)  With one of the worst cases of pollution in the world.  Not exactly a place I want my 12 year old spending 6 days without a very definite plan.

Their teacher made the very fair decision to allow the parents to decide what we would do. She created a group email asking for opinions, ideas, etc. Most of us remained fairly civil. There was some disagreement, but the overall decision was whatever was best for everyone involved. Except for one mother. She absolutely refused to actually read any of the emails that were being sent to her. Every single response sent from her end was typed in bold capital letters.  If she wasn’t given an answer within 20 minutes, she would send another ranty email to the group bitching about the teacher’s irresponsibility in the middle of the school day. You know, when the teacher was busy educating our children!  To topo it all off, she suggested that the teacher should be required to sell her airfare voucher and divide the money among the parents. As some form of punishment!  *exasperated sigh*  And she made sure to tell us every step of the way, that she was consulting her daughter for opinions with each step in the process.  Her 11 year old daughter.  Let me make that clear:
  1. She was relying on a child to make a very adult decision (COME ON! If I asked The Boy what he wanted, he would gladly go to Mexico City by himself!  Who cares about safety, logistics, planning…)
  2. In a very heated ADULT conversation, she was keeping her kid updated on what other parents and teachers were saying, including her own ranting which was not in anyway forgiving of the teacher or the school for that matter. There were a number of bold and direct insults about the school and the individual teacher in all of her emails.
In my eyes, she has basically been showing her child the entire time, that if things don’t go exactly the way she  plans and wants, she can throw whatever kind of fit she wants. Screaming and stomping your feet are not only allowed but encouraged. Insults, rudeness, and inappropriate anger are expected.
This is not the only example of this type of behavior that I have seen during The Boy’s educational years, just the most recent and fresh in my mind. And it makes me so very sad and disheartened. Here I am working so hard to raise not only a healthy and happy individual, but a healthy and happy individual who takes pride in being a valued part of his communities (both macro and micro).
What happened to teaching our children good communication skills? Compromise? Humility and humbleness?  How about common decency and manners?

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